Mpumalanga Woman Attacks Farting Husband With Knife In The Buttocks

A 55-year-old Mpumalanga woman was arrested for domestic violence after allegedly attacking her husband for farting in bed.

The flatulence occurred around 3:20 AM at the home of Meikie Mahlangu. Meikie’s husband told police that she started elbowing him every time he passed gas.  

“Meikie began kicking him over and over again every time he would fart,” according to the police report. “But when the farts became ‘juicy and wet sounding’ Meikie went to the kitchen, grabbed a carving knife, and stabbed her husband in the buttocks.” 

That’s when her husband fell out of bed, reached for the phone, locked himself in the bathroom for safety and called the police. “I cracked the bathroom door open to see if she was gone,” said the husband. “But she snuck around the corner, stuck her foot in the door, and that’s when I maced her crazy ass. Not with my farts this time, but with pepper spray.” 

Meikie was charged with misdemeanor domestic violence and taken to the Siyabuswa Police Station in Mpumalanga where she was later released. She claims she was the true victim of this entire incident. “If YOU had smelled his nasty ass farts, you’d understand,” Meikie said. “They were so bad I could taste them.”